Shoppers, who at first had formed an orderly line, suddenly surged forward like the gush of a fire hydrant to extinguish a blaze.
I squeezed tightly but felt the small hand slip away.
My fearful shouting could not be heard.
With pounding heart beating in my head, I pushed and shoved, searching.
Images filled my head and none of them were good.
Panic mode engaged.
Then I heard, “Grandma, over here!”
Excellently written! You’ve probably heard about (or read) Hemmingway’s 6 word story. This link has a similar theme.
http://www.npr.org/2013/03/13/173816975/six-words-ask-who-i-am-not-what
Thanks for the link….a few years ago I read “Not Quite What I Was Planning” Six word memoirs edited by Smith Magazine. It was also based on the Hemingway story!
Oh my that was too terrifying! My heart was totally pounding as I read and imagined my grandchildren being lost. Praise God you gave us a happy ending, otherwise I might not have been able to sleep tonight!
Many blessings,
Cheryl
Always pray for happy endings! Thanks for stopping by…
Brilliant! I was feeling it. This was a perfectly tied up little story. Sometimes big things do come in small packages. Well done!
Thanks so much!
It is amazing how a few well crafted words can change the reader’s emotions in no time!
Thank you!
You managed a beginning, a middle and an end in seven sentences, well done, Ruth. I agree with everyone else here about relating to it.
Thank you.
That little bit had my heart beating faster. Very effective.
Thanks.
Excellent story…..That was really good. I’m still thinking on what I should write for Caddo’s challenge.
Thanks Cee… I can’t wait to read yours!
Excellent, excellent, Ruth!! Thanks so much for joining me–and thanks also, for the link to the 7 Sentence Blog. At first I was nervous, fearing I’d “stolen” an idea–but they have a whole different deal goin’ on–I just have a monthly story challenge, so I’m not likely to be hauled off to blog jail (yet). God bless you BIG–love, sis Caddo
Oh goodness… you? A thief? I think not. That had not crossed my mind, I just thought it was interesting that things were coming up lucky sevens! I really like your idea and think its a great writing exercise.
I “lost” my three year old once when he let go of my hand and ‘disappeared’ under a display table (he thought it would be fun to play ‘hide and seek’). It was the worst 15 seconds of my life!
This has to be a universal story for all mothers and grandmothers….. I knew others could identify with this feeling… thanks for your comment.
I have woken up in the middle of the night having that nightmare. So, so glad it turned out with a happy ending.
Every time the grandkids come to visit for overnight or longer I lie awake and worry the week before about what “Could” happen… silly, isn’t it? But it is very real!
I bet that main character won’t go to a white sale at Higbee’s again!
you are correct ma’am!
That was scary, so glad it turned out okay.
blessings ~ maxi
Oh God, my worst nightmare. Thank you for the happy ending.
LOL I don’t do unhappy endings when it comes to Grandchildren!