Random Acts of Futility

Another snowy day in the Midwest and another Winter Weather Advisory, so I decide to tackle some of those jobs around the house that I have recently begun to call “Random Acts of Futility” .    You know, the things you do that no one ever notices.

The kitchen table is a wooden oblong table with one leaf.   My first futile act is removing the leaf and scraping all the crumbs, glitter, gummy residue, and icing drips that resemble the colors the kids used on the Easter cookies.  Back in 1993.  It’s pretty gross and I have to use a paint scraper to loosen it up then a sturdy broom to sweep it into the dustpan onto the floor.  For some reason after all the scraping and sweeping, I felt the need to measure just how much gobbledy gook I was able to scrape from beneath the area we eat all of our meals.  1/4 of a cup!  Now there’s progress.  I can hardly wait until the husband comes in tonight and says,  “What did you do today, sweetie pie?”    “Why, I scraped one-quarter cup of gobbledy gook from under the kitchen table.  Thanks for asking.”

Since I am in the kitchen and I think I might eventually mop the floor, I decide to clean off the bottom of the kitchen chair legs.   A couple of years ago I found stick-on felt circles that you can place on the bottom of chairs.   Their purpose is to keep the chairs from scratching the floor.   In my kitchen that’s a lost cause.  I use them because they make the chairs quieter when you scoot them up and back from the table.  They also act as a magnet for dust bunnies and cat hair.  Eventually you find  you are scooting the chair back and each little leg is surrounded by a grayish cloud-like material.

I turn the chairs upside down to begin and of course one thing leads to another and I decide the bottoms of the chair seat need to be scrubbed as well.  I don’t even want to know how icky stuff gets stuck down there.  Under where we sit. ((ew)) 

That task being completed, I roll out the refrigerator and then the stove/oven and sweep the sticky, dusty,  residue from underneath.  If I  can’t find a pen to write with,  it’s time to clean under major appliances. That’s where they all end up.  Plus bottle caps, plastic silverware, rubber bands, paper clips, and usually a bit of change.

There are more rooms to tackle, each with their own set of futile tasks, but for now,  I mop the floor and decide to call it a day.

What are some futile jobs that you have to perform?

 

 

Related article… well, sort of related anyway…

http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/joke-684/