The last thing she saw was the colorful, wispy decorations gently swaying in the breeze. When she awoke, it was dark. She felt around in the dark for her purse, but found dry, itchy, straw. The smells were familiar and yet different. Animals. Leather. Grain. She closed her eyes hoping that when she opened them again, she would be in a familiar place. Sounds of fluttering from above; then dust made her sneeze. She tried to sit up, but her head hurt so badly she lay back down hearing nothing now but the crackling of straw under her aching head.
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ This is an entry for the Friday Fictioneers. Follow this link to find out more.
Retired Ruth 
I loved how you set up the scene-enjoyed the mysterious tone of the piece ,leaving the readers to draw their own conclusions 🙂
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Thank you Sometimes I think cliffhangers may be my thing!
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🙂
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Good story but I agree we need to know more. The description was very good. As I wrote somewhere else: I read that as long as you can tell a good story, you can succeed. The rest can be learned. We’re all learning, including me. 🙂
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I’ve only just begun…. hmmmm reminds me of a song. There is a lot to learn to make your story interesting and believable to others…. Thanks for the comment.
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Great description that captures her sense of confusion perfectly
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Good descriptions here, Ruth, and a good beginning to a story I’d love to read in its entirety.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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You need to write a book or perhaps longer stories! Your short pieces always leave me almost on the edge of my seat!
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A book! sounds like a lot of work! Thanks.
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This took me to those kidnappings, hope is she’s kept for ransom, and not just robbed left where she is…
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Dear Ruth,
You left me wondering what the story actually was. Perhaps someone slipped her a Mickey the night before. Great descriptions. BTW…just to address your cognitive error in an earlier comment: You are NOT a failure. Nuff said.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for your always positive comments! And for hosting the Friday Fictioneers!
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I agree that your descriptions were well-done. Although there’s no definite beginning or end, you’ve laid out a nice little mystery for us to ponder. Kidnapping, too much partying, ??? Don’t worry that your story’s a failure. What you had was very good. So, you have something to work on for next week. That’s OK. 🙂
janet
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Thanks for your positive reinforcement. Always good to know what you need to work on!
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This definitely made me wonder where she is and how she got there…I hope it was just a wild party and not a kidnapping, or worse. And although this didn’t have a beginning/middle/end thing going, I still really liked it!
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I enjoyed it, and it was effectively executed, but as you say, without a start, middle and end. Nonetheless, a graphic vignette
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My homework for next week!
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Makes me wonder whether there’s been a kidnapping, or just a drunken adventure. This is surprisingly similar to another I’ve read today (entitled Bare Remembrance).
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Bare Remembrance …. came to a conclusion, I need to work on that.
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Hope she finds her way back to where she should be. It was either a good party or a very good party. Pity she doesn’t remember. Spot on re sensory descriptions.
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She’s had too much to drink? You’ve left us to write our own endings!
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I know. and I am supposed to have a clear beginning, middle, and end.
I am a failure! 😦
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You got me! I’m curious to know more. Nice mystery.
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Well, your story answers where she is, although it’s still a mystery why. I’m guessing kidnapping, although I guess the reader will have to fill in the reasons. Nice sensory descriptions, by the way. 🙂
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Thanks.
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