Industrial sounds echoed across the sound of water. I couldn’t tell how far away I was from either of the sounds. Throbbing pain on the left side of my head made me feel around for something to hold onto. I clutched cold metal under my fingertips and was suddenly spooked by a whoosh of air and a rattle behind me.
“Look out, lady! This is a bike lane.”
I halted, afraid to move.
I waited for human voices.
The absence of words or laughter set me into a panic.
“Ma’am? Your head is bleeding. Do you need help?”
I sobbed.
*****************************************
Happy 2nd Anniversary to the creator of Friday Fictioneers…. Rochelle WIsoff-Fields. Thanks to The Reclining Gentleman for the photo that sparked our ideas this week.
Follow this link to read more fascinating stories: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/
Head injury … unfortunately, I can totally relate to that, and the confusion that follows. Well written!
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Ruth, If she’s that confused, I’d guess she’s suffering from a concussion. It sounds like a bike hit and run. Fortunate someone was willing to help. Well written and entirely possible.—Susan
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An intriguing situation. It brings all sorts of possibilities to mind. I like the contrast between the stillness and silence she’s experiencing, and the noise and speed and sharp words of the cyclist. Can I confess that I once ran into some pedestrians when I was 11, riding my bike along a quiet country road. I was such a shy kid that I couldn’t bring myself to shout out a warning; instead saying, as I’d been taught ‘Excuse me please’ before I knocked a woman to the ground. Fortunately she was uninjured. I’m haunted by it still.
Marg
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How awful…. hadn’t really given the bicyclist much thought. I can remember riding my bike and doing a u turn right in front of a car once. Of course, my Mom was watching out the window and boy did I get grounded!
Thanks for the comment.
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This is quite mysterious…If, as you commented, you imagined her injured and unable to see, I’m glad she was able to hear the voice…what a true panic you’ve created.
Ellespeth
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This is frightening in a completely ordinary way, if that’s clear. Much worse, really, than zombies and so on. Good one.
janet
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Thanks. I for one, don’t get the whole zombie obsession.
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Good story. Written with an edge, anticipation…
blessings ~ maxi
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Thanks you for your postive comments… always! 🙂
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This leaves one with a feeling of total imbalance. Nicely done.
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Being a bit unbalanced myself, I speak from experience… lol
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I feel such sympathy for her. Great job.
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Thanks for reading and commenting.
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I wonder what happened, and whether she will remember. Good story.
Claire
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You certainly created atmosphere and emotion – well done! I hope your character lives to tell another tale!
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I do too! Thanks for reading.
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Aww I want to give her a hug.
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She could use one! In fact, so could I!!! (((hug)))
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Ruth, This reads like an excerpt from a longer story. Lots of mystery here. How did she wind up in the bike lane. Like a snapshot from the brain of an Alzheimer’s sufferer.
MG
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In my mind, she received a head injury and could not see. Temporary? Permanent? Have to think about that one. Thanks for reading.
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Makes me think of a careless youngster on his bike careening past an elderly lady who needs help. I hope I’m wrong.
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A possibility…. thanks for your comment.
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as always, excellent
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Dear Ruth,
You have me wondering what happened to her but it’s so well done I don’t need to know.
Thank you for the anniversary wishes. I wish I had created Friday Fictioneers. I’ve merely kept it going.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Keeping it going for 2 years… a daunting task. You have done well. I’m relatively new at FF but I really enjoy it… it keeps me writing weekly and I love reading the other blogs. We learn from each other!
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I would say to you,, write more,, help her through. 🙂
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I did leave her hanging, didn’t I? Thanks for reading and worrying about my character!
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I felt her confusion, poor thing. You managed to evoke such a lot of sympathy for her plight in a few words.
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I do hope that was indeed fiction. If not, then I hope that everything is okay.
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The poor dear. I hope she is okay.
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